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Wednesday, September 22nd, 2010
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[ She] was the only one I liked. [She] made me feel... like I had a heart. - Axel [Kingdom Hearts 2] |
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Thursday, August 6th, 2009
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-Me - Everyday of my social life No matter how much someone tells you that they are your "Best Friend," there's no doubt that they are lying. Out of all the people i've been hanging out with all summer there has only been one person that i've been able to call my "Best Friend." Is it that people don't want to have too much of me or some people just don't want me around? I realized that, "Yes, I am a Bitch and that may be an over or understatement of how I truly am, but this 'bitchy' attitude is only here because YOU put it here. So yes, f. u."
Maybe my "friends" just don't consider an invitation to places because i'm really not labeled into this circle of friends. I know and have always known that in the end it's Me and only Me out there to look for number one. And I've been right every single time. When something is so wrong or when I need the comfort, no one is ever there to hold my hand. But, on the contrary, if something is wrong when it comes to one of my "friends" i'm speeding over for max comfort. Because, this is what, to me, is a good friend and what a good friend would and will do for their friend. How dare you call yourself my "Best Friend". You have no idea what a Best Friend is.
Ryan Out
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Saturday, August 30th, 2008
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love  | 1. | a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person. |
| 2. | a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend. |
| 3. | sexual passion or desire. |
| 4. | a person toward whom love is felt; beloved person; sweetheart. |
| 5. | (used in direct address as a term of endearment, affection, or the like): Would you like to see a movie, love? |
| 6. | a love affair; an intensely amorous incident; amour. |
| 7. | sexual intercourse; copulation. |
| 8. | (initial capital letter) a personification of sexual affection, as Eros or Cupid. |
| 9. | affectionate concern for the well-being of others: the love of one's neighbor. |
| 10. | strong predilection, enthusiasm, or liking for anything: her love of books. |
| 11. | the object or thing so liked: The theater was her great love. |
| 12. | the benevolent affection of God for His creatures, or the reverent affection due from them to God. |
| 13. | Chiefly Tennis. a score of zero; nothing. |
| 14. | a word formerly used in communications to represent the letter L. |
–verb (used with object) | 15. | to have love or affection for: All her pupils love her. |
| 16. | to have a profoundly tender, passionate affection for (another person). |
| 17. | to have a strong liking for; take great pleasure in: to love music. |
| 18. | to need or require; benefit greatly from: Plants love sunlight. |
| 19. | to embrace and kiss (someone), as a lover. |
| 20. | to have sexual intercourse with. |
–verb (used without object) | 21. | to have love or affection for another person; be in love. |
—Verb phrase| 22. | love up, to hug and cuddle: She loves him up every chance she gets. |
—Idioms| 23. | for love, | a. | out of affection or liking; for pleasure. |
| b. | without compensation; gratuitously: He took care of the poor for love. |
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| 24. | for the love of, in consideration of; for the sake of: For the love of mercy, stop that noise. |
| 25. | in love, infused with or feeling deep affection or passion: a youth always in love. |
| 26. | in love with, feeling deep affection or passion for (a person, idea, occupation, etc.); enamored of: in love with the girl next door; in love with one's work. |
| 27. | make love, | a. | to embrace and kiss as lovers. |
| b. | to engage in sexual activity. |
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| 28. | no love lost, dislike; animosity: There was no love lost between the two brothers. |
Ryan's Definition:
1. No meaning found. Please try again later.
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I just wondered.
Why don't I ever blog? I mean. Look a lot of people blog, I blog sometimes. I hardly ever spill my guts to this page. I think I have to do videos because I'll talk more.
CHANGE IS COMING LIVEJOURNAL!
-Ryan out
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This year has been a real year on friendship. I don't really know who i'm calling my friend this year. I've hung out with so many type of people, but who can I really trust? Who is out there that I can really call my friend? Maybe it's just my wild emotions or this really is going on.
-Ryan Out
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Wednesday, May 14th, 2008
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With the AP test behind me now. I think the healing can begin. And let the rest and relaxation commence!
Summer here I come
-Ryan Out
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I don't know what has been going on with me lately. I'm still a wreck since the car crash. I've been a roller coaster of emotions and I've been snapping at people easily. Really am sorry to everyone that I've been yelling at. I'll apologize soon. I just need to clear my head first of everything that has been going on. Everything just needs to chill and relax so Ryan can get back to normal.
Let's wait and see what the future holds.
-Ryan
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Saturday night had to be the craziest night in the world.
Well first off lets starts from the beginning of my saturday. I woke up at 10 and had to go get ready for a performance. I was barely finished changing by the time Rachel called.
Performance: Oh my god. We effed up big time. Subli was a mess. Pandango was all bad because someone broke a glass and I dropped mine. Tinikling we kept slamming on the bamboo, I kept getting hit by it. Blah whatever we got paid. Holla!
To the mall!
Mall: Went around the mall for Rachel and Trixie to get mother's day gifts. I went to go buy clothes for the party that night.
Well I got home at 4, and Cameron was suppose to pick me up at 6. I had enough time to go to safeway and get some more money before I had to get ready. Then headed over to EB Games to sell some games. Unfortunately they don't buy computer games. Well that was the least of my worries. Because my brother had to go bring Traci to the mall, and I was still in the car. So I didn't get home until 5:30. Effing!
-Ryan Out
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I've figured it out. I think this is the year to look after oneself. So! This year i'm going to look at number one. Me. No more everyone else. Ryan is going to look at RYAN! A friend of mine is going through a whole enlightenment stage. Maybe it's just a phase. But it probably is. Well my phase is here too. It's time for Ryan to do some spring cleaning.
So Ryan is gonna start working out. [I don't know why i'm referring to myself in third person.] But damn, I realized without the studio, i've been gaining quite the amount of weight. So, i'm gonna try and do some exercises everyday. Run up and down the stairs 30 times. I did it yesterday, I think I can do it everyday. Do 50 crunches [Reasonable amount right now]. Lift some weights, probably not a lot.
I think this is reasonable right now. I mean, I don't want to be ripping big, but I want to have some muscle on me. So why not the legs and stomach. I'll work slowly on the arms. Start on that in the summer. But right now. Ryan's working it out.
New life here I come.
Ryan out.
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  Tony Stark is a billionaire industrialist and genius inventor who is kidnapped and forced to build a devastating weapon. Instead, using his intelligence and ingenuity, Tony builds a high-tech suit of armor and escapes captivity. When he uncovers a nefarious plot with global implications, he dons his powerful armor and vows to protect the world as Iron Man.
A kick ass marvel movie. There hasn't been a good marvel movie since X-Men II. It's funny and plenty of action to go around. For those of you that don't fallow the Ultimate Marvel Universe, don't worry, you'll fallow along fine with the movie. It's great and true to the story, now let's see if they can fallow up with the fallowing movies. There's lots of hints towards Avengers, other possible movies/sequels. Let's just see what Stan Lee has planned.
Grade: A-
Ryan Out
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 The National Day of Silence brings attention to anti-LGBT name-calling, bullying and harassment in schools. This year’s event will be held in memory of Lawrence King, a California 8th-grader who was shot and killed Feb. 12 by a classmate because of his sexual orientation and gender expression. Hundreds of thousands of students will come together on April 25 to encourage schools and classmates to address the problem of anti-LGBT behavior.
This is a good reason to stay silent right? I did it. Most of the day except for 5 hours that were left. It was a hard day. Only slipped twice. Once when I woke up in Algebra-2 and I asked Christina if I drooled or not. Then during practice she asked if my makeup was good yesterday. Grah. She's horrible! XD
Then Mr. River yells at me for doing this. "I know your doing this for a good cause but this is more important right now." Fuck just let me do this! [Note: For those of you that don't know. Yes I am Bi.]
Well as if things weren't worse enough. That night only got worse. I messed up on stage when I had so many people I knew watching me. That entire night I felt like crying. Not because of the show, maybe it was because of him, maybe it was because my life sucks.
The night only got better as soon as I got back to Tim's house. Thanks guys.
Ryan Out
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Sunday, February 24th, 2008
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D - Don't tell her about it
E - Even though you think you love her
P - Pretend it never happend
R - Remind yourself constantly that the other guy will make her happier
E - Especially when she doesn't even know your there
S - Silently stand behind her every choice
S - Shrug it off and let everything go by
I - Instincts tell you to live the happy life, alone
O - Opening your heart will only tear her away
N - Never let this all happen.
I'm tired of being just friends. I'm tired that every girl I meet has to be a friend because she likes someone else. Maybe even that your best friend[s] like her. Or maybe there's some fucked up guy that doesn't even care about her, but she likes him more. I think i'm alone. No, I know i'm alone. A million people in the city and no one to talk to. I can't relate to anything anyone says, even if I can I don't know how to talk to them about it. I feel out of place. I love attention. I hate having to talk. I hate having to sing. I hate dancing.
Dancing has been hell turned over into a new hell. Soreness. Being mind fucked to believe that I can't dance. I hate him. Always telling me I can't dance, damn bastards can't just shut their mouth. Thinks he's better then me. Screw him.
Then when I think I got it down. I'm a count off. One meezely count off. As if things weren't worse enough, my ass is numb from falling on the floor. Why do I keep dancing?
Who am I kidding?
I don't love the stage. I don't love dancing. I don't love acting. I don't love the theater. I don't love performing.
Ryan out. Again.
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Thursday, January 31st, 2008
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It completely slipped my mind....
I haven't done movie reviews for a long time. In the time I have seen; Sweenie Todd, I Am Legend, and Cloverfield. All great movies with amazing twists. Don't really feel like doing reviews for them now. Maybe tomorrow when I watch a movie tomorrow.
Stay tuned for Depression Part 4
-Ryan
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Monday, December 3rd, 2007
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Who ever this may concern.
I've come to the realization that I won't have money this holiday season. I won't have money to buy people gifts. I won't have money to buy people happiness. I won't have money to buy people my happiness. Seeing other people happy makes me happy. I guess it's as simple as that. Even though I know they'll be getting gifts from other friends. How will I feel when I see people giving gifts? How will I feel when I receive gifts only to give nothing back?
Last year I gave 500$ worth of gifts away. 500$ from my pocket not my parents. 500$ that I collected through out the year that was added onto my birthday money. Why do I do this? Why can't I be selfish? Why can't I just keep my money and make myself happy with it? Why should I have to buy people things in order to make me happy?
Why?
Remembrance.
Over the years. I've drifted from my friends. I don't feel like I really belong with any clique at school. As if I could just sit in the halls during lunch and no one would notice. Most of the time during lunch I sit there watching my friends laugh and talk. It's as if I'm not really there. I don't say a word. A comment or two. Only to go unnoticed.
Maybe it's because some people think I'm a jerk. I guess I am.
Ironic.
I feel a bliss when helping others, but I feel that same bliss when I can tear it down. A yin and yang I guess.
I think I'm done for now.
-Ryan Out-
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Sunday, August 19th, 2007
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Two co-dependent high school guys want to hook up with girls before they graduate and go off to different colleges, but, after a calamitous night just trying to buy alcohol for a school party, overcoming their separation anxiety becomes a greater challenge than getting the girls.
This is a summer must see! It will leave you laughing through out the whole movie. More on the comedy and the embaressment you'll feel for these characters. A sudden twist with storylines, but it's still funny. I can't review so much on this, it's just "GO WATCH IT!"
Grade: B+
Ryan out
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Sunday, August 12th, 2007
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Summary: In the heart of Paris lies a deadly secret. Half a world away in Los Angeles, Ambassador Han is about to disclose it. In his possession is explosive new evidence about the inner workings of the Triads--the most powerful and notorious crime syndicate in the world. The Ambassador has discovered the identity of Shy Shen, the very crux of the wide-ranging crime ring, and he's about to reveal it to the World Criminal Court--until he is silenced by an assassin's bullet. The Triads will go to any lengths to make sure their secrets stay buried, and there's only one hope for stopping them. LAPD Detective Carter and Chinese Inspector Lee are back--back where they don't belong. The unlikely duo is headed to the City of Lights to stop a global criminal conspiracy and save the life of an old friend, Ambassador Han's now-grown daughter, Soo Yung. They don't know the city, the language or even exactly what they're looking for, but their race will take them across the city, from the depths of the Paris underground to the breathtaking heights of the Eiffel Tower, as they fight to outrun the world's most deadly criminals and save the day.
Review: What a rush! And what an Hour. Really. Only an hour long movie? I think that was the only big disappointment to this movie. The rest of the movie was hillarious. The action, the drama, the comedy. Really though, I think they need to stop making these movies. Jakie Chan is getting old, how is he still doing these stunts?
Grade: B
Ryan out
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Friday, August 10th, 2007
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To whom this may concern-
Beezy
Well I just got back from my trip from Utah. Let me break it down for you. Hoi! Gib me a bit, ha!?
So happy to be back
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Wednesday, August 1st, 2007
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Dun, Dun, Dun, Dun, Dun, Dun~ [Too many!]
Yahoo Summary: Homer Simpson must save the world from a catastrophe he himself created. [Shortest Summary ever!]
Review: Oh god I love this movie! What wasn't in this movie that wasn't funny? It had drama, comedy, action, comedy, spider pig! Oh I love spider pig. I think the best scene is where Bart is skateboarding nude.
Ralph: I like boys now
Haha! Hillarious.
To be continued...
Immediately.
I didn't think they were serious when they meant 4x as long. [80minutes] I wanted more! I can't really review much on this without giving something away. It's a summers must see!
Grade: A- [Needs to be longer!]
-Ryan out!
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LATE POST!
It's the best day ever~
Best day ever!
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Well readers.
Some fools just broke our address light, during the time where my whole family is awake. These kids around our neighborhood are just looking for trouble. We already called the cops and they just made a U-Turn and sped off. I assume that those bastards have been spotted.
::Ryan Out
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![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
life_by_strings's journal
annoyed.
apathetic.
chipper.
aggravated.
accomplished.
pissed off.
blank.
indescribable.
indifferent.
amused.
relieved.